Can we talk?
March 23, 2006
How rare it is to really talk with someone! It’s a lost art, and much of what goes for conversation today is pretty insipid, it seems to me. Richard Brookhiser, in his regular City Desk column in the March 27 issue of National Review describes the salons, or discussion clubs, that used to be common in Boston, Philadelphia, and New York.
Running a salon should be the easiest thing in the world: the great ideas, the news of the day, a pinch of malice, twelve tongues, and you’re off. But, having passed through a number of such groups over the years, a few of which fell silent, I can testify that good talk is harder than it looks.
He goes on to say that a successful salon must meet periodically, probably at least monthly. He says that since we talk with our mouths, eating and drinking are natural accompaniments. There must be next to no discussion of business. A salon must have a dictator and a conductor (perhaps the same person), the latter being the man or woman who floats a topic, who floats another if the first dies stillborn, who raps a glass if too many are speaking at once.
The models for a good conductor are not Bernstein or Cab Calloway - no hams, please - rather the Baroque maestro who sat on his harpsichord bench and led from the keyboard. …The most important quality in those who do the talking is listening. A salon is not combat, and since one may hear something new, or uncongenial, neither is it a pep rally. …when you lose your point, listen to the person on your left.
Sounds like great fun, doesn’t it?
Dave, trying hard to think of his last great idea.
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Hi Dave!
I agree that the richness of good talk (and listening) can be rare! Is it our hectic lives or the accelerated complexity of life perhaps? At any rate, I feel so grateful to my good friend Jane Behrensmeyer because she hosts “Women’s Retreats” every month to give interested women a chance to spend time together and speak on whatever crosses our minds. Jane often has a topic in mind, but she’s open to whichever way the conversational currents run. What a gift! Often I find I’m more of a listener, but it still feels wonderful.
Important ingredients in this mix? the environment (quiet, calm and candle lit is good for me), food (for that abundant well-cared for feeling), good people (differences are good, but there may be a limit there), and a gracious stimulating host(ess). Ah well, this is just a topic dear to my heart! Here’s talking to ya! Betsy
Thanks for your comment, Betsy. The Women’s Retreat sounds like a wonderful time of conversation, and Jane a skilled hostess. Keep on a’talkin’.