Girly-men pastors

April 28, 2006

I’ll be quick to say up front that my present pastor is a refreshing exception to the rule, but if you are a man whose church experience is often frustrating, or if you are a woman wondering why it’s hard to get your man to church, read this good review of Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow. And a tip o’ the tricorn to Michael Kruse for pointing me to it.

Biola > Spring 2006 : Biola Connections

Murrow quotes Nancy Pearcey (Total Truth), who writes about the prevailing Darwinian worldview that posits separation of religious belief from rationality.

Pearcey said industrialization forced men to seek work away from home, in factories and offices, which created a split between the public and private spheres of life. The public sphere became secularized through the new values of competition and self-interest, and the private sphere came to represent the old values of nurturing and religion, Pearcey said. Thus, religion came to be seen as for women and children and not as relevant to the “real” world of business, politics and academia, she said.

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Love Songs and Feminine Spirituality
An example of the feminization of the church is its music. Typical praise songs refer to Jesus as a Christian’s lover and praise his beauty and tenderness. Rarely do they praise his justice or strength, or refer to him as the head of an army leading his church into spiritual battle, like “Onward Christian Soldiers.”

“The classic example is the worship pose of the eyes shut and the arms raised in this tender embrace, singing a song that says, ‘I’m desperate for you. You’re the air I breathe.’ Guys don’t talk to guys like that,” Erre said.

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Touchy-Feely Sermons
Another turn-off for men is touchy-feely sermons. Pearcey said the modern church stresses emotions and inner spiritual experiences while neglecting the intellectual side of the faith.

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Girly-Men Pastors
Touchy-feely sermons come from touchy-feely pastors. A feminized church tends to attract more “gentle, sensitive, nurturing” leadership,” according to Pearcey.

Murrow and Pearcey perhaps lay it on a little thick, but they make some compelling points. One reason that I have gravitated to the Reformed brand of Christianity is its attempt at balance between “heart knowledge” and “head knowledge,” as the current saying goes.

Dave, known to shed a tear, but don’t tell anyone.

Posted by Dave | Filed Under Bible